What Is the Inner Critic — And How to Quiet That Voice with Compassion

Do you ever hear a voice in your head that says, "You're not good enough" or "You always mess things up"? That negative voice in your head that makes your flaws seem bigger, doubts your skills, and predicts failure is something that almost everyone has. This is your inner critic. It can feel very personal, but you're not the only one who hears it. This article will help you understand that voice and how to silence your inner critic with kindness. We'll talk about what the inner critic really is, why it exists, and how to spot the different types of it.

To begin, let's explore a fundamental question: what is the inner critic, and why does it sound like your own thoughts?

The inner critic is a form of negative self-talk — a voice built from fear, shame, and outdated cognitive distortions.
But instead of fighting it with more self-judgment, you’ll learn how to silence your inner critic by shifting from criticism to self-compassion and developing emotional awareness. This will change the way you think about yourself from being critical to being kind.

For those times when this voice feels overwhelming, an AI therapist can offer immediate, supportive strategies to improve your mental health.

300 000+ women feel
better with Soula

Support for every woman:

✅ A Personalized Plan to reduce anxiety and overthinking

✅ 24/7 Emotional Support whenever you need it Cycle-Aligned Mental Health Tracking — monitor your mood and symptoms in sync with your period

✅ Real-Time Insights into your energy levels and emotional state

✅ Bite-Sized Exercises to help you return to a calm, balanced state — anytime, anywhere

Discover your anxiety triggers to find calm

Anxiety test

What Is the Inner Critic?

The inner critic is the voice inside your head that tells you you're not good enough, makes you doubt yourself, and makes you feel ashamed. It's the voice that criticizes what you do, questions your choices, and attacks your worth. It seems like it's ours, but it's not always an original idea. This voice usually comes from a mix of past experiences, like harsh words from parents or teachers, pressure from society to succeed and fit in, and painful times of being rejected or failing.

It's important to remember that this critic's first job was probably to protect. It may have tried to keep us safe, small, and out of trouble by warning us about possible failure or social rejection. But like an overzealous bodyguard, it has become too active and harmful. What was supposed to protect us now keeps us from moving forward, trading short-term safety for long-term anxiety and lower self-esteem.

Types of Inner Critic & How They Show Up 

Your inner critic doesn't just have one voice; it changes depending on the situation. You can find it faster if you know what it looks like in different ways.

• The Perfectionist: Makes people anxious by saying that everything has to be perfect. "That report has one mistake; it's a total disaster."
• The Inner Controller tries to control your behavior, usually around food, habits, or work, to keep your anxiety in check. ("You can't rest yet; you haven't earned it.")
• The Guilt-Tripper: Reminds you of your mistakes and what you owe other people. ("You were rude to your partner; you're a bad person.")
• The Underminer: Makes you feel like an imposter and hurts your confidence. (“They're going to find out you don't know what you're doing.”)
• The Destroyer: Attacks the core of who you are. ("You are unlovable and incapable at your core.")

When you try to be creative, you might hear the Perfectionist at work, the Guilt-Tripper when you parent, and the Underminer.

What Triggers the Inner Critic & Why It Gets Loud 

The inner critic is often activated by cognitive distortions — mental patterns that make you expect the worst. 

These thought spirals are triggered by stressful events, conflict, or the fear of failure. Understanding what is an inner critic and how it responds to emotional regulation breakdowns is the first step to change. Fear of failure or rejection can also make things worse. For example, applying for a new job, going on a date, or sharing a creative project can all make things worse. Understanding what is an inner critic's triggers is the first step toward learning how to silence your inner critic.

A lot of the time, these things that happen now are like wounds from childhood. A boss's harsh words can sound just like a disapproving parent, activating old automatic thoughts and limiting beliefs formed in childhood — especially around self-worth and belonging. Also, some habits keep the critic on the payroll. The critic has an endless supply of things to use against you, like constantly comparing yourself to others on social media, being a perfectionist, and not having any personal boundaries. To manage this, it's helpful to first ask, what is the inner critic's core purpose?

How to Silence Your Inner Critic — Practical, Gentle Tools 

Quieting the critic is a way to strengthen your mind. It's not about winning a fight; it's about changing the subject.

• Step 1 - Awareness: The first and most important thing to do is to notice the critic without believing it right away. Get the idea: "Oh, there's the Perfectionist again."
• Step 2 - Detachment: Remind yourself in a gentle way, "I am thinking that I am a failure, but that doesn't make it true." This puts some distance between you and the voice that is judging you.
• Step 3 - Reframe: Fight the harshness. If the critic says, "You completely failed that presentation," change it to "Some parts of the presentation were shaky, but I got the main point across."
• Step 4 -  Compassion: Talk to yourself like you would to a close friend in the same situation. Would you call them a failure? No. You would be kind and encouraging. Give yourself that same grace.
• Step 5 - Make New Patterns: Do things every day that strengthen a supportive inner voice. Write in a journal to process your inner dialogue, use mindfulness to stay grounded in the present moment, explore therapeutic tools like journaling and visualization, and go to therapy to find out what's really bothering you, and be creative to express yourself without fear of being judged.

Real-Life Examples & Case Stories 

Maria, the Perfectionist: Maria used to spend hours worrying about small things in her work, which made her miss deadlines and get burned out. Now that she knows who her critic is, she sets time limits for revisions and practices saying, "Done is better than perfect." Her stress levels have gone down a lot.

David, the Saboteur: David used to say no to chances because he thought he would fail. His mind said, "Don't even try." Now that the critic has spoken up, he admits he's scared but still does small things. He recently led a successful project by focusing on getting ready instead of listening to the doubt.

What the Inner Critic Doesn't Mean 

Having an inner critic doesn't mean you're broken, flawed, or not good enough. It shows that you are a person. This critical voice is a mental habit that you learned to help you deal with a complicated world. To understand this better, we must ask: what is an inner critic at its core? The purpose of this work is not to violently obliterate a segment of oneself; that would merely constitute the critic assailing the critic. The goal is to lessen its power, learn where it came from, and combine its worries with kindness so it doesn't control everything. This process is the heart of how to silence your inner critic. Ultimately, understanding what is the inner critic's true intention allows you to transform your relationship with it.

Final Motivation — From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion 

The first step on this path from self-criticism to self-compassion is to stop and notice the next time you hear that familiar critical voice from your inner critic. You don't have to believe it. Kindness toward yourself is not a sign of weakness; it is a powerful source of healing and strength. This is a path of practice, not of getting it right.

Some days will be good, and some will be hard. But every time you respond gently, you are not just learning how to silence your inner critic — you’re also building self-esteem and practicing healing the inner child.

If you're wondering what is an inner critic's role in this process, it's often a misguided protector. Remember, understanding what is the inner critic is the first step to transforming your relationship with it. You are not the only one on this path.

FAQ About the Inner Critic 

What is the inner critic in psychology?

In psychology, the inner critic is frequently regarded as a representation of our superego or a conditioned cognitive pattern centered on negative self-assessment and fear-driven admonitions.

Is the inner critic always bad?

Not in the way it was meant to be. It often tries to keep us safe from harm, shame, or being turned down. But the way it works—harsh criticism and fear-mongering—are mostly bad and not helpful.

Can you completely silence the inner critic?

It probably won't go away completely, and that's fine. The goal is not to get rid of it completely, but to make it quieter and less powerful so that it sounds like a faint background noise instead of a loud shout.

Is the inner critic the same thing as feeling anxious or depressed?

No, but they are very closely related. A harsh inner critic can make you anxious and give you sad thoughts. It is often a sign of these problems or a way to keep them going.

What do you need to do first to calm the inner critic?

The first step is easy but very important: pay attention to it. Find the important thought without judging it. Just say, "That's my critic." This act of being aware is the first step toward all other change.